So most everybody who knows me knows a few things about me 1. I’m very sarcastic/ cynical 2. I have no filter I say whatever pops into my head 3. I love to make people feel uncomfortable whenever I get the chance… now that being said most people don’t know anything about me… like that I’m constantly thinking about how my life will turn out… with my background there is no reason I should be the way I am, I should have a lot of problems… I’m non-stop just thinking about everything…
so I’ve been thinking lately how do I stop being sarcastic and yet still be a fun person. I dont want to change myself I just want to be mature I guess… the other day I had tea with a friend and he was asking me questions that I couldn’t bring myself to answer, which made me think, why cant I answer them… why can’t I just stop joking for 2 seconds and have an adult conversation with him I mean I want to I just dont know how I guess… so I use sarcasm as a comfortability blanket… I’ve gone so long not letting any one in that I still find myself answering their questions with sarcasm… which is why I’m sarcastic 24/7.
Now I am known to hit on random people or just say very outrageous things… I’m sure some of the people know that I am kidding, but some don’t… only a few people know this about me because I’m so out there, but when I really like someone I dont hardly talk I will tell them hi but that’s about it… I have a fear of rejection, but it’s not just that, it’s all I know is sarcasm and when I’m around that person I just cant think of anything so I feel like an idiot and I chose not to talk… I also try not to get to involved with anyone because I usually end up getting hurt… so that brings me back to my main point I use my sarcasm for the serious moments so I dont have to deal with them… it’s just easier for me to not expect anything from anyone therefore it’s less chance I will get hurt… which is why I have no problem just walking up to a random person and hitting on them, I dont care if they like me I’m just doing it because it’s the funny thing to do…
I honestly wish there was a book that could tell me how my life will turn out, but with my luck of course there is no such thing… sorry I’m just sharing a little bit so people know more about me I guess…
